It is the middle of March. Today’s temperatures crept up to 74 degrees, and tomorrow’s will be similar. After a freezing and dreary winter filled with lots of rain, this warmup, albeit way in advance for my global warming consciousness, felt amazing.
Twenty-one years ago, however, the weather in Northern Virginia was anything but warm. A massive system from Florida to Maine dropped a foot of snow in this region. The warm air and moisture from the Gulf region hit the cold air from western Canada with a shallow barometric pressure that yielded terrifying weather results. The storm caused 11 tornados in Florida and over 200 deaths after its hurricane-force winds finished ripping through the East Coast and Canada on March 14th. According to some news reports, snow drifts in Northern Virginia measured upwards of 12 feet in height. The storm left thousands of travelers and citizens without heat and electricity for days.
The Superstorm of March ’93, sometimes referred to as the “Storm of the Century” or snowicane,”did not have as significant an impact as many previous or more recent snow events in the region. The most recent event, the snowstorm of 2016, dumped over two feet of snow into the area. However, according to Accuweather, that snowstorm was not a Category 5 storm on the National Centers for Environmental Information (NCEI) scale. Accuweather’s article on the event said the 1993 blizzard was “one of the most devastating storms of the 20th century.”
Steve Marvill, a senior forecaster for Accuweather back in 1993, said in a Washington Post article that the event “had all the conditions for a powerful storm. It was as if there was a hurricane, but in the winter.”
It certainly felt like a hurricane to many who lived through it. At the Gov. Harry W. Nice Memorial Bridge near Dahlgren, VA, the wind speed topped out at 73 mph. When the dust (and snow) settled, the storm caused nearly $6 billion in damage in 1993 USD. That’s over double the $12.8 billion in today’s money. That’s enough to build four new stadiums for the Commanders. That gives them four chances to win a game, right?
Everybody wants to start over out of the winter slumber. New clothes. New perspective. How about new furniture that’s hard to pronounce but cheap enough to ignore the fact that you have to put it together? Sure.
Out with the old and in with the new right? I know of a place where you can stretch your dollar and get that springtime fresh feeling with new furniture: IKEA. IKEA Woodbridge near the Potomac Mills Mall has been a staple in the community for years. I love IKEA because they have unique showrooms that take half of the decision-making out of it. Does it spark joy? Ok…but does the price point spark joy?
There you go. Crate & Barrel still seems like a pipe dream.
STARTING at $1,700? If you get something from the “Gather” collection does it come with a sign to hang in your kitchen and years of repressed racism?
This is the second in a three-part series highlighting my favorite showrooms (15 Total) at the Woodbridge IKEA. For this round of five showrooms, I am also going to add where I think the showroom resides, AKA what part of Northern Virginia.
Note: These are not ranked in order but are shown in the flow of the showroom itself. Instead, I employed a system of 1-5 hex wrenches, the impossibly frustrating tool used to assemble most of the furniture.
Gamer Dad Family Man
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. What about a showroom? This room definitely paints a very specific picture on its modular canvas.
I envision a bunch of kids running around and playing with toys using the bin on the right. Dad is telling the kids to stop playing in front of the television because he is a gamer (you can see the controller and headphones on the table. I’m also guessing that he is playing Call of Duty. He probably needs to let off some steam after a long day at the consulting offices. If he isn’t a mid-level manager at KPMG, I would be impressed. The couch is nice, but not cozy. I don’t get a sense that a lot of weekend movies are watched there. Just gaming.
As far as couches go, the 4-seat sectional Morabo is about as expensive as it gets for the store (which is funny because that is about the base price for anything at Crate & Barrel). There are a few included touches you know gamer-dad didn’t do, like the bookshelves and scrawly-text portraits. Mom went off on that one. In her mind, it really ties the room together, or at least distracts from the fact that the couple’s portrait rests just to the left of what looks like an urn for ashes. You can speculate all the symbolism you want there. Let your imagination run wild.
Given that the toy bin is in the same room as the nice couch and video games, I am going to assume that space is an issue. (Verdict: 2 out of 5 Hex Wrenches)
Northern Virginia location: Seminary Hill, Alexandria
2. Netflix and Chill
Picture this: Recent George Washington University graduate has lots of talent and even more debt. The education received at the prestigious school lands the individual a great job in the Rossyln. The job is great because it has hybrid flexibility, as you can see by the small home office set up in the living room. In fact, everything in this room is moderately priced and perfect for a recent college graduate getting into the work game. Unfortunately, all that time for school has left little time for the dating game. After furnishing their apartment with head-to-toe IKEA, they decide to get back in the game and go on some dates. Some are duds, but the one we see here…is a winner.
The beverage service on the table means two things: the date started and ended at the house (they did not go out to eat), and the second: it’s all pretty self explanatory. The “Are you still watching” is the digital “do not disturb.” Maybe some dinner was made. Either way, the date shifted to the couch where they put something on before the magic hour…or two?
It’s definitely an apartment, and it’s definitely in Clarendon. Date two will be at Maison Cheryl with a few glasses of wine…then Netflix. Ah, to be young. (Verdict: 4 out of 5 Hex Wrenches)
3. Old Town Grill Daddy
Of all the years going to IKEA to either pick up furniture or just shop around in the marketplace, this particular set-up has rarely changed. There are only a few “outdoor” showrooms at this location, but this is by far my favorite.
I know a lot of the materials in this image seem kind of cliche, but I love it. I love the floral accent wall. I love the lights. I love the fake wood deck and the focal point of the grill to the chairs. You can sense there might be some light entertaining happening in the small backyard. I envision a small patch of grass nearby that a small dog uses to relieve itself. Maybe it’s just the fact that it’s starting to get warm, but I am totally into it.
But the focus is the grill and the adjacent water hookup with the sink. Putting chicken on the grill? No problem – I can wash my hands here. It’s the kind of luxury I can get down with, especially in such a small space. The large compost bin at the bottom screams environmentally conscious, if not slightly crunchy. There might even be some prepping done outside. A little mise en place with Miller Lite? Oh hell yeah. (Verdict: 4 out of 5 Hex Wrenches)
This is a well-to-do newlywed couple in Old Town Alexandria.
4. Patrick Bateman Lives Here
You like Huey Lewis and the News?
This room screams serial killer, albeit a cost-conscious one. It’s still a serial killer. Nobody lights up the back of their television screen that actually uses it. It’s all just for show. Just like the abundance of carpet space that doubles as a great location for drop cloth to sop up Paul Allen’s blood.
There’s something so sterile and unsettling about this room. No art. All white. The wine decanter and two glasses. If you walk into this room with an attractive but assertive gentleman that works as a Vice President for Mergers and Acquisitions at Pierce & Pierce, run away. Run away as fast as you can. Just make sure you look out for falling chainsaws. (Verdict 2 out of 5 Hex Wrenches)
If Bateman lived in NOVA, he would definitely live in McLean.
5. Cozy Office/Library
Although I am not a super fan of the color choice in this office/library, I cannot deny how cozy it all looks. Despite the darkness of the furniture, there is a good amount of light that let’s you believe it’s a room that two or more people would ACTUALLY use — and that’s a rarity in some of these IKEA showrooms.
I love the large bookshelves with room to display personal pieces and tchotchke’s of various sizes. There’s personality to this room.
I can see plenty of board games being played in here. Maybe some light jazz music to keep it fancy? The marginal wall art near the desk makes me think it’s the location of a work-from-home set up. That area is the only reason this room is not getting a 5-out-of-5 hex wrench ranking. (Verdict: 4 out of 5 Hex Wrenches)
This room is for the DC commuter who loves spending weekends in their home with family. I’m thinking Leesburg.
Stay tuned for the third and final part of this IKEA showroom series!
Look. We have all done it. A Northern Virginia resident’s lifestyle and monetary requirements almost make it a condition. Even if you don’t want it to encroach on all aspects of your life, there is a strong possibility that you have a piece of IKEA furniture in your house. The chances you have wrestled with furniture names you can’t pronounce and an Allen wrench that will haunt your dreams and fingertips are high. When we bought our house in November 2020, we had so much more room to “fill in.” Coupled with old, aging, and seemingly ugly furniture from my college and bachelor years in the rental house, I knew I would have to eventually donate or toss all of that and ascend to the next level of domesticity (Hint: The final boss is a Crate & Barrel mid-century sectional).
After a while in IKEA, I always feel the urge to type this so people at Potomac Mills can see me.
If I have to GO to IKEA, I need to make it worth my while. Those horse meatballs aren’t enough to sustain a half-day venture out to Woodbridge. In that spirit, I made a game out of it while shopping for modular furniture I can’t pronounce. If you were trapped in an Ikea during a zombie apocalypse, which room would you pick? How would you rate them? Imagining I was in a Swedish version of Dawn of the Dead, here is my definitive ranking of the showrooms at IKEA Woodbridge.
This is the first of a multi-part series. Because there are so many showrooms in IKEA, it’s prudent to split them up into sections.
Note: These are not ranked in order but are shown in the flow of the showroom itself. Instead, I employed a system of 1-5 hex wrenches, the impossibly frustrating tool used to assemble most of the furniture.
1. Boring Newlywed Couple
This is the first showroom that comes up to view after you ascend the escalator to the main showroom floor. I think this one appeals to new couples or newlyweds who just got married and need to fill their bedroom with “something.” There isn’t a lot of thought into what’s going on in the room itself, just a void that needs filling. I think that’s what most couples are concerned with after marriage anyway.
The Slattum bed is an interesting choice. The sheets look like they were carried over from the husband’s bachelor days.
One of the bright spots of the room is the tray at the end of the bed (but what is up with that picture? Does the husband call his wife “mother,” perhaps?). I know I would use the tray personally, but it makes me think this couple watches a lot of Great British Baking Show at night, commenting how “the show used to be so much better.” Paul Hollywood would never approve of this room. It is the spatial equivalent of a soggy bottom.
The water bottle on the workstation on the bed tells me one of the two works from home. If we think specifically of Northern Virginia, I am thinking of a new overly-priced condo in Arlington or Falls Church. They make enough money, but that doesn’t necessarily make up for taste. That being said, I bet their living room and kitchen look much better than their bedroom. Appearances, right?
I think they tried with the paint to make a bit of an accent where the bed was, but everything else screams “meh.” I feel like this couple met at the Yard House and goes there on their anniversary. The husband drinks the yard of beer and attempts to get frisky at home before passing out on this uncomfortable ass bed. The pop of red on the wall above doesn’t save it, either.
Vanilla sex was had here. That’s not an accent pillow. It’s a stress ball for her to clutch when she thinks she made a mistake. You can do better, girl. Take the laundry basket and run. (Verdict: 2 out of 5 Hex Wrenches)
2. Kid-Centric Family Living Room
This is much better.
To be honest, this resembles the layout of my house’s tv room/kitchen area. It’s nice to have a complete family unit in one place. There is a tv in the room, but it isn’t necessarily the central focus. The cute miniature table and chairs give the family enough space to spread out with some arts and crafts (and let’s not forget the ample storage space for supplies, toys, etc.). That is crucial. It might not be aesthetically pleasing, but it is absolutely necessary to have all that stuff be out of sight and out of mind when needed.
There are a number of individual items I disapprove of (the weird circus painting and the sign that simply says “love”). Clearly, the decorator had wall space to fill and chose a few pieces from the “bored suburban family” collection (I think the proper IKEA furniture name is Ballsäk, but I can’t be sure). It’s an otherwise decent space that has a great “lived-in” feel missing in so many of these IKEA showrooms. (Verdict: 3 out of 5 Hex Wrenches)
3. So Many Individual Products
To be completely honest, it’s hard to get a beat on this one because I am distracted by the CVS receipts hanging everywhere. It really detracts from the overall flow of the kitchen. Although the showroom itself occupies a smaller footprint than most rooms, I could definitely see myself cooking in this kitchen. The stove kinda gives me a “renovated-in-Arlington-and-ran-out-of-money” vibe, but that’s okay. Look how much counter space there is to chop stuff! I dig the utilitarian aspect of it all, but it definitely needs a pop of color. You will also notice that IKEA showrooms continually use those white cabinets everywhere.
Pro: Functional and open. I can see a husband and wife duo having a great conversation while cutting vegetables to make a bland stir fry.
Con: Almost everything you see in this kitchen showroom can be found in the marketplace downstairs. I’m also not taking up that much valuable space on the hanging board for a single spatula. Come on Ikea, that’s just lazy.
One thing I will say: $461 for that butcher block countertop? Damn. That’s a deal. This is why everybody shops and ends. up buying something at IKEA. (Verdict: 2 out of 5 Hex Wrenches)
4. Suburban Swingers
I just get a vibe with this one.
At first, I was focused because it looks like this one is meant to be both inside and out. In the end, I envisioned that the foreground items are from a screened-in porch adjacent to the living room. There’s a couple that lives down the street from me with a very similar set-up, and I am almost positive they are swingers. They CONSTANTLY have new people over, either out front on their deck (with a table that looks shockingly similar to the one here) or out on the screened porch with the bbq grill.
I imagine quite a few margaritas being consumed from that bar cart in the front. The couple weighs and measures their guests, then casually throws out the “my wife and I really dig your vibe” line after marg number #5. The husband probably wears a tight-fitting embroidered t-shirt and a backwards hat. Maybe the party is taken inside with some awkward dancing next to the sectional couch? There aren’t any items that screen “home” or “family,” but more of a staging area for some suburban nocturnal naughtiness. There will be political talk, but that political talk will turn into if they have read the literary genius that is E.L. James. No? Well, let me tell you about it while I refill that drink, sweetheart.
(turns on Boz Scaggs and puts on a kimono)
Run John and Cheryl. Run. The carne asada isn’t worth it, and neither is this showroom. (Verdict: 2 out of 5 Hex Wrenches)
5. Seasonal Affective Disorder: The Room
Have you ever wanted to telework, eat, relax, and sleep in the same spot? If the answer is yes, you are probably going through it right now. Trust me, I get it. So am I. If that energy could be channeled into one room, this would be it. To be honest, I definitely vibe with it.
The white tray means that you’re working from the couch for the majority of the day. The sad folding chair to the left means you will splurge for effort on a small desk for the really important Teams calls that require you to turn on your camera. From that angle, you will be able to see the corkboard “vision board” of S.A.D., which includes photographs of places you plan to go (but never will), art you find acceptable but have no real interest in, and pens. Pens are crucial. Don’t quote me, but pens are the talismans of winter depression.
Who is the owner? Well…
You don’t entertain guests. This is your sanctuary and safe zone. A clubhouse for a generation crippled under the weight of the mistakes made by previous generations. You probably take phone calls from your parents on that couch about how upset they are that they paid for their education.
You’re also taking your meals on the same couch tray. So much wine has been consumed on that couch watching The First 48. The fake plants are the real chef’s kiss. You want the appearance but not the hassle of caring for something other than yourself.
You have a bedroom but will regularly convert the couch to a decently comfortable bed. You don’t want to move to sleep but you want the lower back pain in the morning to remind you that you feel something. I get it. The little table next to the couch/bed will hold plenty of emotional support cups of water. If there was an Ikea near me when I finished college, I probably would have bought this entire room. Bravo. (Verdict: 4 out of 5 Hex Wrenches)
Landmark Mall has remained closed near Interstate 395 in Alexandria, VA, for more than five years.
The mall, anchored by Sears, Lord & Taylor, and Macy’s, was opened in 1965 as the first major mall in the DC metro area to feature three anchored department stores. Over the years, the 675,000-square-foot outdoor center was eventually enclosed in 1990 to its current form.
That is until the wrecking ball came last Thursday.
On May 12, 2022, a small crowd of spectators looked on as a wrecking ball plowed into the Mall’s iconic sign at the top level of the food court. Seeing the news on social media, I traveled down Van Dorn road to snap a few pics of the demolition. By the time I got there, a giant hole was left in the building. If you looked hard enough, you can see into the top level of the food court. The neon sign was gone — and soon the Mall will be. But demolition is slow-moving, and it seems it will be a while before it is all gone. The location will be redeveloped into a mixed-use space, including a new INOVA Alexandria Hospital. I wanted to make sure I at least got all of the signs preserved in digital format, even though they will most likely be the last remnants of the old former location to go.
We will see if it stays that way. Sometimes, plans don’t work out. Remember when the first Top Golf down the road in Alexandria was supposed to be a mix-use facility? Nope. It’s still a golf entertainment complex. Old habits die hard, and real estate in Northern Virginia never seems to die.
My own personal memories of Landmark Mall are limited. Moving to the Northern Virginia area in 2013, I only managed to go to the mall a few times. Like most people did towards the end of the mall’s life, the mall served as a giant retail mausoleum that housed the only Chick-Fil-A in the area (located on the top floor food court). When I last went to the mall in 2015 to get a space heater at Sears, the mall was almost entirely abandoned, earning the no-to-coveted “Dead Mall” status in the years before its closing. The mall received a little life after its closing when it served as a brief set for the movie Wonder Woman 1984.
I was able to go to the mall after production wrapped to take pictures of the abandoned mall after Covid hit. They were some of the first pictures I took after Offbeat NOVA started. Back in 2020, the mall was left completely empty, save for the Sears anchor (closed in July 2020). After waiting two years for a good story on the mall to materialize, it seemed appropriate to share now that the mall is breathing its last breaths.
It will be interesting to see how the demolition progresses. It’s hard to say if the mall was ever “iconic” like Tyson’s Corner or the Galleria, but it did serve as a hub of diversion, shopping, and entertainment for over fifty years. In its absence, malls like the Springfield Town Center are only getting more crowded (even in Covid times).
Do you have memories of Landmark Mall to share? We’d love to hear from you.
On January 2, 2022, a day before it snowed nearly a foot in the DC Metro area, the family decided to stretch our legs a bit and get some exercise. On the coldest days and months of the year, the best place to get exercise is the mall. Although Springfield Town Center is the closest to us, Tyson’s Corner has always been our go-to location. We go to the mall for exercise, diversion, and a little (light) shopping since my daughter was an infant. It’s warm in the winter and frosty cool in the summertime. It’s a great place to get some exercise and window shop. It’s also fun to feel nostalgic for the old days of the early to mid-1990s when going to the mall was a social event you waited all week for.
More on that later.
We parked in our usual spot across from the Macy’s and headed in for a lap on the two floors of the mall. As we rounded the corner of the American Girl store, I noticed that the L.L. Bean store was surprisingly sparse. Upon further inspection, my suspicion was true: the store was closing. A sign out front of the store read that the store would permanently close after the 17th of January.
Sign in front of the store (Matthew Eng/Offbeat NOVA)
“We’ll miss seeing you here, but we hope to see you outside.”
It was an odd feeling. Going to L.L. Bean was always a part of our mall experience. Our daughter especially loved playing with the toys on the lower level.
There’s a whole lot of speculation from L.L. Bean fans, local residents, and Tyson’s Corner Mall regulars. The most prevailing rumor was that either the rent was too high, or the mall rejected L.L. Bean’s plan to keep the store at just one level. Either way, it is gone.
In an official statement, L.L. Bean said “the decision was not an easy one:”
“Though we worked with the landlord to explore many options, we were unable to reach favorable terms in a way that would allow us to best serve our customers moving forward.”
Quote from L.L. Bean
They looked into everything from finding an alternative location to supposedly moving all of the merchandise to one floor, which would validate the idea that the rent was too high. One can imagine the staggering amount of monthly dues to a 76,000-square-foot store.
It is rather big news, either way. Many would consider L.L. Bean an anchor store next to two other large storefronts, Macy’s and American Girl (both still open– for now).
L.L. Bean in 2000 (Richmond.com)
L.L. Bean opened the store in Tyson’s in 2000. It was the first of the retail chain’s stores outside of its home state of Maine. Part of what spurred the move was the high proportion of catalog orders. As of 2000, L.L. Bean reported that 85% of their sales were from catalogs. The store had an indoor trout pond and waterfall, evoking an early 2000s mall experience akin to waiting for your “portabella mushroom” group at your local mega-mall Rainforest Cafe. At the time, it was the sixth anchor of the burgeoning mall. In a grand twist of ironic fate, it seems most of the orders for L.L. Bean clothing and merchandise are back into the catalog sphere (at least in the sense of ordering online).
The only other location in the area is the 22,000-square-foot store in Bethesda, Maryland, despite the retailer actively looking for a new location in the DMV area. This news comes just before it was announced that the Bed Bath & Beyond just down the street from the mall is set to close at the end of February 2022. And of course, we can’t forget that the Disney Store inside the mall, by far our main reason for going to Tyson’s, shuttered in September. At this point, you have to ask yourself: What will be next?
In the same vein as seeing your childhood Pizza Hut turn into a 2-star Mexican Restaurant, there are already plans from the developer to change the space.
It’s been real, Bean (Matthew Eng/Offbeat NOVA)
Retailer Macerich, the owner of Tyson’s Corner Center, plans to break the space into smaller pieces of the two-level shop. According to a report from the Washington Business Journal, at least three tenants have been identified to fill in the space for now, one of which will be Ireland-based retailer Primark (looks like a business model similar to the Japanese retailer Uniqlo).
Whatever the space will be, I will keep the memories of walking around the store in the early years of my daughter’s life. My local mall near where I lived growing up (Pembroke Mall in Virginia Beach Virginia) also announced that it was closing. Not a store — the entire mall. Of course, there are plans to turn it into something else. Progress is progress, and you see plenty of that in Northern Virginia. Without sounding like an old man yelling at a cloud, I am glad to walk in there one last time and take a few pictures. I only wonder what store (or stores) will go next at the mall. With the announcement of the opening of a LEGO Discovery Center at Springfield Town Center, my money is on the relatively small footprint of the LEGO store on the lower level of Tyson’s.
Malls, retailers, restaurants…they all have memories tied to them. Those from childhood are always the strongest, which is why seeing shops in malls, whether they be from your childhood or adulthood (Like the L.L. Bean) are tough. What else do we talk about with our friends or coworkers? The past. The future is always exciting to think about, but the past holds our collective subliminal feelings. You can call it nostalgia if you want, but it’s always there.
I’ll close with the final paragraph from Stephen King’s IT, which takes place in the fiction town of Derry in L.L. Bean’s home state of Maine. For a book that is an endorphin shock of childhood nostalgia and the fears of growing up, I think it is perfectly apt to end this article.
“But it’s nice to think so for awhile in the morning’s clean silence, to think that childhood has its own sweet secrets and confirms mortality, and that mortality defines all courage and love [. . .] Or so Bill Denbrough sometimes thinks on those early mornings after dreaming, when he almost remembers his childhood, and the friends with whom he shared it.”
Offbeat NOVA 